‘How do we make people be accountable?’ is a question I get asked a lot. We can’t ‘make’ others be accountable, this is rooted in a conformity paradigm we are seeking to transform when working restoratively. We grow spaces where accountability can live.
Accountability and community are important restorative values and they are inextricably linked.
One of the key principles of RP in education is that accountability exists within a supportive environment. When I feel like I belong, when I feel ‘seen with love’, when I am embraced by the community…. I contribute, I feel safe, I flourish. This is why I am passionate about moving RP understanding in schools beyond behaviour management and towards relational learning communities; why my RP for Students curriculum programme seeks to prioritise the building of relationships and belonging through community circle process and my RP at Home programme supports parents/guardians to understand the restorative values of community, empathy. nurture and accountability that replace a punitive approach before there is a serious harm. We build goodwill in good times!
‘Can we have a list of ways to practise accountability?’ is another frequent request I receive from people genuinely seeking to be restorative but perhaps still basing this request on an old paradigm that is outcome and not process or needs driven. Accountability seeks to heal the harm caused and identify ways to meet the needs of the community affected, it’s not a list that an ‘perceived external expert’ can offer anyone. The restorative philosophy can offer guiding principles and processes that we can use as a compass. But those that have caused / been impacted by the harm are best placed to find ways to move forward.
The process of active accountability is needs led and driven, with community and healing at its heart.
It’s essential to understand that….
This involves a restorative paradigm shift in schools that I am passionate about cultivating in the work I get to do. In a restorative approach that promotes accountability, when I make mistakes, it is understood that ‘misbehaviour is a tragic expression of an unmet need’ (Rosenberg) and that I am greater than the sum of my behavioural parts, in this context I am supported to make amends.
Relational thinking is at the heart of such a commitment and what I seek to cultivate in my Restorative Me; Connect, Reflect & Model self-paced course (available individually or to everyone in a Connect RP school) offering lessons, reflections and quests such as the 3 x As of Accountability and the restorative switches needed to practise it.
The truth is it can be really difficult to work in spaces where there are complicated or unmet needs and there are no easy answers. I think it’s hard… it’s hard when you are restorative and it’s hard when you are punitive.. for me it’s just ‘pick your hard’. I know the restorative approach is who I want to be. There are no unicorns or magic wand here but a restorative approach offers the possibility for connection, for healing and for love.. and this is what our lovely world needs more of!
What I know for sure is that such relational practice, culture and policy reform doesn’t happen in a training day or week, it requires an ongoing commitment, support and mentorship. My Connect RP Implementation model seeks to facilitate this through the individual Restorative Me and RP & AEN courses, whole staff CPD sessions, the essential regular Relational Learning Community gatherings amongst staff to reflect in community, the RP for Students curriculum programme promoting belonging, RP at Home for Parents, RP for BOM, and the co-mentoring partnerships with other Connect RP schools – living and practising in community and being accountable to one another along our journeys.
Before you go, I invite you to check out our upcoming workshops.
With much giraffe-love,
Michelle
Sometimes, in my role as Guidance Counsellor, I get asked to intervene in situations where several consequences have already been implemented. One such example was a second year “feud” between a boy and a girl who had no dealings with each other in first year and were in the same class for the first time in Second year. Over the first few months, their bickering had escalated to Year Head intervention, detentions and still the teachers were reporting problems in the class. In fact, the whole class atmosphere had been impacted and the class was labelled the problematic one of Second year. “I felt powerless. I was confused, I couldn’t understand why she was treating me like this. I never spoke to her in First year and when we were put in class together this year she started sniggering and whispering to her friends every time I walked into class for no reason. ” (Boy X) These were the words of the boy in a preparation conversation before a Restorative Meeting. But they didn’t come easy. In the first round of the questions, I learned he was angry and that he thought his reputation was ruined. He couldn’t get beyond defending himself and making her out to be the ‘bad guy’. He wanted compensation and for the Year Head to call an assembly and tell the whole year he didn’t do ‘it’. At that stage, based on those answers, I was skeptical that there was a readiness for a Restorative Meeting between the two parties. In my work as an RP practitioner, I know that identifying what feelings reside behind the facts listed are where connection and empathy are built so I delved a little deeper – back to the start of the story rather than this specific incident. I followed the question protocol again and that’s when we started getting somewhere and he made the above revelation. This boy was very articulate, and I could empathise with the feelings he described. He described the mixed emotions of new beginnings, new classmates, and the added burden of this mysterious quarrel with a girl he didn’t know who just had it in for him. In an attempt to regain power, he began acting in a way that he wasn’t necessarily proud of but couldn’t think of approaching any differently. ‘Investigating’ the incident that landed them in my office wasn’t the priority, giving them clarity and a new path forward were.
Individual and Collective Accountability in a Restorative Framework
Restorative Practice Myth Buster Series Part 2
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